OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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