I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
