pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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