Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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