i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
