If i could tip my vagina, i would.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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