Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
