Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
