..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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