is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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