I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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