i don't like sucking hair
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize