shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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