Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
