We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
