is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
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It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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