FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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