I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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