it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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