so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize