I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
