The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
