She is in my trunk
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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