My nipple is on Facebook.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
