i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So squirting runs in the family.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
