I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
