She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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