You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
