Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
