just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
