somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
