I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
