she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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