There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
