Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He felt like a one man threesome
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
