I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
