PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
