sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
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Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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