Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
