Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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