Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
