You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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