I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
