Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wear drunk well.
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