Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Let's get the cat blown out
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
