Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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