i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize