Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
