Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I forget how to act sober
Randomize