Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I look better un-naked...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
