Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
