so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just pee around me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
