I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
How does one acquire holy water?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
