Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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