she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
