you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize