..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
