Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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