he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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