How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
